By Daniel Shagobince
Here’s the hyper-truth, the real truth, not the truthiness, but the truth-will-set-you-free-ness, the truth that no one, even if they are people not monkeys, wants to see, touch, hear, smell, imagine, or even deny: First of all the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community is not a tribe, it’s an economic octogolopoly, I mean a sextogolopoly, made up of people who just happened to get control of the right money faucet at the right time. But that’s not the business end of it. The main part is this: They’re not a real tribe and they don’t care! They are crying about it all the way to the bank! Why would rich guys like them care anyway? They’ve got the MONEY! And whose going to take it away from them anyway? Governor Poolenty? Oprah? Some guy with some website somewhere? Go ahead. Make their day.
After my last ravings people wrote in to say I was full of crap and that it was because of “white rules” that the SMSC came into being in 1969. They have hit the fingernail on the head and it hurts me a lot, it really does. It was 1969, not 1968, like I mis-said before. And, the Shaktopolitans are craptaculously sextapably, supercalifragilistically rich for the same stupid reasons that Rockefeller was rich and Bill Gates is rich and why that kid who sings better than Lady Gaga is going to be fabulously rich (he just got a record deal and he’s only 12!), through being at the right place at the right time and through canni-ballistic skill (using both dogs and missiles) and by hiring the right lawyers . Who can complain about that? It’s the American way. (Q: But is it the Dakota way?) Also this guy who writes in cuts me up when he says: “Shakopee is the LOCATION of the tribe, and the land has been there for ever.”
Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….. Yes, the land has been there forever. I can’t touch that. And the land is called Shakopee, because…..? And the people who now call themselves Shakopee…………where did they come from exactly? Lots and lots of questions, but tame guys like that have no answers. Instead they say: “The Strib might not have anything to do with the ad placement? The kind of quick witty writers such as your self or the smart ass people at the paper themselves. Crap we all have to put up with.” Thanks for the part about being quick and witty. My dekßi used to say to me: “You may be dumber than a tin can, but at least you’re quick and witty.” Crap we all have to put up with, yet truth deny we will, as my bon-papa Yoda once said.
You’ve got to be kidding me. You are really going to put a link on the name of Yoda to go to some wiki page? That is so stupid. Why do I send this stuff to you anyway? Arianna Huffington‘s been bugging me to write for her. OK, you are really full of crap yourself. Talk about lame. Fine. Have it your way.
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