The mystical lakeness of being Shakopee

By Daniel Shagobince

Here’s the hyper-truth, the real truth, not the truthiness, but the truth-will-set-you-free-ness, the truth that no one, even if they are people not monkeys, wants to see, touch, hear, smell, imagine, or even deny: First of all the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community is not a tribe, it’s an economic octogolopoly, I mean a sextogolopoly, made up of people who just happened to get control of the right money faucet at the right time. But that’s not the business end of it. The main part is this: They’re not a real tribe and they don’t care! They are crying about it all the way to the bank! Why would rich guys like them care anyway? They’ve got the MONEY! And whose going to take it away from them anyway? Governor Poolenty? Oprah? Some guy with some website somewhere? Go ahead. Make their day.

After my last ravings people wrote in to say I was full of crap and that it was because of “white rules” that the SMSC came into being in 1969. They have hit the fingernail on the head and it hurts me a lot, it really does. It was 1969, not 1968, like I mis-said before. And, the Shaktopolitans are craptaculously sextapably,  supercalifragilistically rich for the same stupid reasons that Rockefeller was rich and Bill Gates is rich and why that kid who sings better than Lady Gaga is going to be fabulously rich (he just got a record deal and he’s only 12!), through being at the right place at the right time and through canni-ballistic skill (using both dogs and missiles) and by hiring the right lawyers . Who can complain about that? It’s the American way. (Q: But is it the Dakota way?) Also this guy who writes in cuts me up when he says: “Shakopee is the LOCATION of the tribe, and the land has been there for ever.”

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay….. Yes, the land has been there forever. I can’t touch that. And the land is called Shakopee, because…..? And the people who now call themselves Shakopee…………where did they come from exactly? Lots and lots of questions, but tame guys like that have no answers. Instead they say: “The Strib might not have anything to do with the ad placement? The kind of quick witty writers such as your self or the smart ass people at the paper themselves. Crap we all have to put up with.” Thanks for the part about being quick and witty. My dekßi used to say to me: “You may be dumber than a tin can, but at least you’re quick and witty.”  Crap we all have to put up with, yet truth deny we will, as my bon-papa Yoda once said.

You’ve got to be kidding me. You are really going to put a link on the name of Yoda to go to some wiki page? That is so stupid. Why do I send this stuff to you anyway? Arianna Huffington‘s been bugging me to write for her. OK, you are really full of crap yourself.  Talk about lame. Fine. Have it your way.

NOTICE: The opinions of Daniel Shagobince and the other commentators on this site are their own and do not represent those of www.MinnesotaHistory.net


Comments

The mystical lakeness of being Shakopee — 4 Comments

  1. Daniel,
    I just want to let you know that there were a lot of people who were very critical of your most recent article. I got a few emails from those people, as you will see below. Most of these came because I put a link to your article on several Native American listservs. I know I told you that I liked your writing because I thought it was interesting, and provocative, and sometimes funny, and that it raised some interesting historical issues. But I’ve got to say, there are limits. I hope in the future you will not make gratuitous comments about the Shakopee Mdewakanton Sioux Community. Even if there are some people who have questions about Shakopee’s history and status, most people don’t like to see a Native community or nation called out in public. It is important to remember that Native communities are sovereign nations. Their membership criteria are their own business.

    So I suggest you avoid that in the future. How about looking at some other topics? Historic Fort Snelling is one idea. I wrote about that before and it is time to write something new. Most people who read this website would like to see changes made there (including tearing it down, as you know!). But if you do write about Fort Snelling, please try to avoid making personal remarks about the people who operate that site. There are ways to be funny and provocative without being unfair. This site is about the reasonable and fact-based discussion of historical issues. So, send me something interesting and reasonable soon and I will put it online.
    Bruce

    Reader 1: You should think about posting this to your friends networks—and not the list serve. Pidamaya ye.

    My response: I thought it was an interesting opinion, even though I do not agree with what he wrote. In keeping with the policies of the listserv I just posted a link to it not the whole article. People can judge for themselves. I expect that opinions will differ a lot. The purpose of my website is to get discussion going on history-related issues. I guess it didn’t work for you. Sorry.

    Reader 2: What a waste of time? What was the point of that?

    My response: I thought it was an interesting opinion, even though I do not agree with what he wrote. In keeping with the policies of the listserv I just posted a link to it not the whole article. People can judge for themselves. I expect that opinions will differ a lot. The purpose of my website is to get discussion going on history-related issues. I guess it didn’t work for you. Sorry.

    Reader 2: Your right. It didn’t work for me. I just did not understand the rambling. That’s just my opinion.

    Reader 3: why would you post a link to an article that is full of bs and that is trashing a dakota commmunity?

    My response: That is a good question. I guess I should re-examine why I did that. On my website I try to get articles that will stimulate some discussion, even if I don’t agree with them. The last thing he wrote produced some interesting responses, so I thought maybe this would too, but there are people who seem to be disgusted by it and no one has commented on it on the website. So I guess time it didn’t work for anyone, maybe because people like you have decided it is full of bs and there’s no real content in it to discuss. As far as trashing a Dakota community goes I think most people will realize that it is just one guy saying stupid things and won’t take it all that seriously. In the last few years there have been a lot of articles on my website in support of Dakota communities and Dakota people, some of which I have written myself, so it is obvious this point of view does not represent mine or the website’s.

  2. I forgot to mention that when I posted your article on Facebook I got this message in Morse code from a friend of mine. I don’t think it is totally negative, so you can take comfort in that.

    •– •••• •- – ••–••

  3. None of the MN Anishinabe reservations consist of “tribes.” They are all of various bands based on geographic location. The reservations have one or more bands of the Mississippi, Pembina, Lake Superior, Sandy Lake, Pillagers, and Rainy Lake. Members of other Ojibwe bands have also moved into or out of the reservations so there is no clearly distinct nature to band identification.

    On the other hand, the Mdewakanton are part of a much larger population that spreads into South Dakota. Because of the 1862 War, the Mdewakanton numbers in MN were reduced drastically.

    I don’t believe the Mdewakanton claim to be a “tribe” so much as a community – Shakopee, Lower Sioux, Prairie Island are all Mdewakanton and Upper Sioux is another Dakota community.

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